The tech world has drastically redefined our lifestyles in several aspects. If we zoom in, we will notice a global paradigm shift when it comes to relationships; starting from communication and expressing one’s emotions up to foundations of honesty and trust. In modern relationships, technology has made people much more vulnerable where everyone has become hooked up on social media and each of us has created an individual definition of personal space or what we call privacy.
Spying on partners has been there for ages; new tactics are emerging year over year and smartphones have added some complexity to this aspect; so most of the time you can barely see the thin line between privacy and secrecy nowadays.
Spying starts with the desire to control or from the fear of losing your partner. So you think that if you tracked the pace of their life, you will be able to manage the relationship quite well. Sometimes your curiosity kills you if your partner left the phone unattended so with or without intent, the temptation to check the cellphone is just invincible.
You sneak in, you check out the latest messages and then one leads to the other. Then, oops you stumble into a conversation with this other person and you interpret the whole chat based on your own perception, and this definitely goes worse when you already have some trust issues.
Did this do you any good? In case your partner was cheating on you, do you think that snooping into his phone is the solution? Will this save your relationship? Definitely not!
It’s all about trust. When two individuals decide to share their life together, they should trust each other in every aspect. If you secretly spy on your partner’s phone, it implies that you do not trust them. Moreover, it can also lead to serious misunderstandings, which can damage the full relationship.
Surely, cellphones have made it easier for people in unstable relationships to virtually connect with an attractive colleague at work, a forgotten ex or even someone who has made a sudden appearance in their life, but I’ve always believed that once you decide to pry into someone’s personal space, it’s never going to be in your favor. Why? When you search your partner’s phone, this negative thought within you gets in control; because your intention is to discover something that he is doing behind your back. Thus; focusing on this negative thought will always bring a negative experience into your life and that’s what the law of attraction is all about and that’s why you will always find what you don’t want to see. Nobody searches a phone with a positive thought for sure.
Even if you spy, your partner could have a hidden contact that will be impossible to catch and if you catch him once, let me assure you that he will use all his power to make it up to you this time. As he will get super cautious afterwards, it won’t give you any satisfaction or awareness if you search his phone, as there are always ways to hide or delete your chats, messages and contacts if you were intentionally cheating.
I consider couples who share the same passwords as another extreme; couples need to maintain their individual identities. Sharing passwords is not a sign of love. There has to be some space between both of you to ensure that your flame of passion is always on.
That’s a sign of trust and of a healthy relationship.
We are separate individuals, and therefore our phones are private.
Being overprotective all the time is extremely suffocating and this often crashes down the whole relationship. Nobody likes to be under the radar 24/7. You need to respect their freedom and privacy. Allow them the dignity of personal space to think and speak with other people in their lives just the way they want to. The more you know, the more insecure you’ll become, and the more you’ll stress about things that sometimes don’t exist. Remember that your partner is human and will sometimes have stupid conversations with their friends. If you read them out of context, you will plant seeds of doubt and you will go crazy. You don’t need to know every word they type.
It’s all about trust; once you have to play a detective in your relationship; it’s time to move on. Transparency is essential for a healthy and long-term bonding so you’d better address your insecurities and work on them to enhance your love. GET CREATIVE!